Take Responsibility, and Forgive Yourself
Taking responsibility! Something we could all practice a lot more regularly, me included. If you know you’ve hurt someone, even it was unintentional, say sorry! Life’s too short to hold onto the stubborn belief that you’re never wrong, and that any time you are, it’s some sort of stain on your reputation or value as a person. No. Mistakes are normal. Being wrong is normal. The TRUE value is being able to admit openly that you’re a flawed old human, just like everybody else, and that you’re prone to getting it wrong every now and then.
How to apologize to someone? DON’T say “I’m sorry you feel that way”, or “I’m sorry, but… I did it because you did this”. NO. An apology is not about defending yourself. Be careful not to justify your actions! This is not an apology. An apology is about admitting a mistake, and acknowledging that you may have hurt someone in the act. And guess what! That’s okay. It’s totally normal, and acceptable, and it’s an important thing to teach yourself that mistakes can be forgiven.
SO TAKE RESPONSIBILITY.
Own up about what you feel to others. Treat others the way you’d personally like to be treated, informed, or thought about, and they are more likely to give you a similar level of respect.
In the same vein, treat YOURSELF the way you’d treat others. If you wouldn’t hound someone else for making a mistake or spilling something, don’t hound yourself. Forgive, and let go. It’s damaging to your self-esteem, and unfair. Again, mistakes are a very inevitable part of life. Replace self-talk like “Wow, you’re an absolute idiot, I can’t believe you did that” with “Gosh, that was silly!”, or “Wow, I really made a mistake. What can I do now?”.
Seriously. Try this kind of self-talk for a week and see how it makes you feel!
When it comes to mistakes, remember that you’re okay, you’re perfectly human, the consequences of the mistake will always pass, and you’ll spend the rest of your life making more, so it’s best to get used to owning up about it and being kind to yourself afterwards! You’re the one you spend the most time with, so treat yourself the way you’d treat someone else! (provided that’s kindly 😉)